Seventeen Ain't So Sweet
by cathedralsinmyheart
Summary: Sam and David are in their Senior year of high school and things are changing like never before. Based on Seventeen Ain't So Sweet by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. R&R.
1. Seventeen Is Just A Test

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of Meg Cabot's characters, her plots, etc. I'm just a fan writing a story.

This story skips 10th and 11th grades of high school, assuming that Sam and David are still together. It's now Senior year. I hope you enjoy it. More will be up soon. Please read and reply!

SAM

Once you hit senior year, things start to feel like they are closing in on you. It's time to start looking for colleges, fill out applications, and take the SATs. It really doesn't hit you until that first day of school when you get off of the bus and realize that this is your last first day of school. David and I were both feeling the pressures of being seniors and we both knew that the pressure was going to increase as the year went on.

To add to the pressure, David had invited me to one of his father's dinners at the White House. You know, one of those dinners that you read about in the paper or see on the news, where everyone at the white house wears a tuxedo or formal gown and drinks champagne while standing around the edges of the dance floor as a small band plays elegant music. I was never excited about dinner at the White House to begin with, but it meant a lot to David to have me as his guest, and I had finally (though reluctantly) agreed to go.

Besides the normal stuff that had been bothering me lately was the fact that David and I were both leaving for college next year. The chances of us going to the same school was very slim. I wanted to go to an art school and David definitely didn't. It was weird trying to picture myself in college without having David there. Even if we kept dating at a distance, would it still be the same? When would we see each other? I always hear that people go to college and change a lot. What if David and I start changing and don't have feelings for each other anymore? These are the kinds of questions I had been asking myself for the past month.

While I knew that I had time to put those thoughts aside and concentrate on the present, I knew that it was something I'd eventually have to start thinking about. What I didn't realize was that I would be worrying about my relationship with David much earlier than I had originally planned.


	2. And I Would Recommend

Sorry for the delay..I've been super busy! I'm doing Sam VS David chapters so that you understand what is going through each person's head. Enjoy and review!

* * *

DAVID

It is while I am going through the stairwell at school that I feel the familiar wave of wooziness pass over me. I grab the railing with my hand to keep from falling over as everything in front of me goes black. My ears are ringing and I somehow manage to sit myself down on one of the stairs. I place my head between my knees and take deep breaths. "It's going to pass." I quietly assure myself.

After about thirty seconds I can see and hear again, and I pull myself up slowly. Glad that I have late pass from making up a math test that I missed, I trudge up the stairs and make my way down the hallway. I'm still feeling quite dizzy, so I blink my eyes and shake my head a few times to wake myself up. Before I enter A.P. Government I take a deep breath and regain my composure. I know that Mr. Latem is going to give me a hard time. He expects me to know the United States government inside and out, as though I want to be the president someday. What he doesn't get is that I definitely don't want to bother with politics. I hate being in the spotlight. Which reminds me...

There is no way that I can let anyone know that any of this dizziness has been happening.

You're probably asking me why I don't want anyone to know. Why it's such a big deal. Why I'm ignoring all of this when something could be wrong. You want to know why? Because I'm the First Son, and I don't feel like being on the front page news over some dizzy spells. It's my business, and my business only. I don't have time be sick either. I can tell that it's only the flu and I have three A.P. classes going, as well as a bunch of college applications that need to be finished.

I hand in my note and take my seat behind one of my good friends Jack. I barely notice the secret service agent in the back of the room. Mr. Latem is standing in front of the room continuing his discussion. "Who can tell us why factions are so important. Why justice can never be fully obtained? " I know that his voice can be heard down the hallway. "David?"

"Madison said that, "Justice is the end of government. It is the end of civil society." I say, annoyed that I was called on.

"And what is government?" Mr. Latem asks, aware that I didn't want to be bothered.

"A reflection of human nature."

"Wonderful." He claps his hands together, as though he is fishing for another question to ask, but the bell rings. Everyone begins to pack up their stuff and leave. "Chapter two is due on Monday." People run out of the room, pretending that they didn't even hear the teacher.

Once the school day is over, I can't wait to get home and go to sleep. For a moment I wonder if it's possible that something is seriously wrong. I shrug it off and remind myself that the flu is going around. As I meet up with my friends at my locker, I silently hope that I'm better by the dinner my father is hosting. I can't wait to see Sam. I hadn't seen her in about a week because her and I had been so busy with applications and homework. Sure, we'd talked. But it wasn't the same. I'm starting to miss her more than I thought could be possible. I can't wait for that moment when I see her in her dress, with her hair done..the sight of Sam any day takes my breath away. But when Sam is all done up like that, I don't dare take a breath for the rest of the night.


	3. That You Live With No Regrets

SAM

My dress is the color of champagne and my hair is done up in curls. As I stand in the mirror putting on lip gloss (yes, I am putting on lip gloss), I hear the door bell. I grab my shawl and purse and quickly walk down the stairs. I want to run, but I don't want to test my luck with heels on. David is standing by the door with my parents. He's in his tuxedo and he looks amazingly handsome. His skin is a little pale, but his cheeks are the most adorable shade of pink. He's smiling. "Sam, you look amazing." His voice is breathy. I smile. There's no other words I'd rather hear.

"Thanks." I duck my head and push a wisp of hair behind my ear out of shyness. He puts his arm out to me and I grasp it. My mom and dad tell us to have fun and that David should drive safely. David promises and we say goodbye.

Once inside of the car (with a secret service agent in the back), David starts to talk to me as though no one else is in the car. "What are we going to do tonight? How about a game of Parcheesi?" I can tell by the tone in his voice that he is joking.

"David!" I slap him lightly on the arm. He's still chuckling, and he makes a right turn. "I was thinking more alone the lines of strip poker, but I think Parcheesi would be more appropriate."

"I think I can go for a round-" David stopped talking and continued driving straight down the road. He blinked his eyes a few times.

"David, are you okay?"

"Yeah, just got something in my eye. Anyway, I think I can go for a round of strip poker." A smile reappears on his face, though it isn't even half as wide as it was when we'd first gotten into the car. He seems kind of uneasy now, and silence fills the car. David is hiding something, and I'm upset that he won't share what is bothering with me. I know it doesn't have anything to do with his dad being president. Whatever is bothering David is beginning to bother me. I make a mental note to ask about it when we're alone.

"I'll be right back." David said to me as he quickly let go of my hand and walked away for what seemed like the fifth time that night. I sighed and tried to blend myself into the crowd, silently hoping that none of the guests would come up to me and ask me if I was in fact Samantha Madison. That had happened three times already and I didn't like the extra attention.

I was beginning to grow impatient with David, wondering where he was going when he left me and what he was doing. He would disappear almost every half an hour and I knew that something was up. That something wasn't right. I had wanted to ask him about it before, but hadn't because I knew that if David wasn't telling me about what was going on then he wasn't allowed to discuss it with me. I didn't like the whole "secrets" idea, but I knew that it was part of the whole "dating the president's son" deal. Trusting David wasn't hard to do; he always told me everything that he could. I admired his amazing sense of honesty.

After about five minutes of standing against the wall by myself, David finally emerged from the crowd and regained a tight clasp on my hand. His hand was clammy, but I didn't want to let go. Holding his hand made me feel as though everything was fine. That nothing was going on that I didn't know about. It made it easier to ignore. With a smile he apologized for making me wait again and he asked me if I was thirsty.

"You're thirsty again!?!" I looked at him with a sense of concern. David's smile slowly fell into a smaller, more timid smile. David started to blush, a sure sign that he was feeling insecure. He looked away from me as if he wanted to talk about something else. "Are you sure you're feeling all right?"

"Just tired." he said as he grabbed my other hand with his free hand so that he held both of my hands. He looked at his feet to avoid my eyes.

"I'll take you up on that offer for a drink." I pushed David's head up lightly from under his chin and smiled at him. He smiled back and together we walked to get something to drink. As we were walking, the band that was playing invited couples to the dance floor for a special dance. I looked excitedly at David and asked him, "Do you want to dance?"

"I'm not really feeling well enough to dance tonight. I'd rather sit down and relax." My smile must have fallen a little because he immediately put his free arm around my shoulder and tried to make me feel better by kissing me on the cheek. "I'm really sorry Sam, but I'm just not feeling up to it." He poured our drinks and we walked out of the main room. When we reached a vacant hallway, we stopped walking and I put my head down so that it appeared that I was looking down at my shoes. Tonight was definitely not going as I had planned it would. I felt like David was keeping more information from me than he should be. Or as though it wasn't as secret as I had originally thought. This secret of his seemed to involve me. It was almost as if he wanted to tell me but would end up stopping himself from doing so. It hurt that he wasn't being completely honest with me. It was the one thing I had always counted on him being.

I tried to will the tears that were building up to stay where they were. "I know I haven't spent much time with you tonight. I'm so sorry Sam. I promise that I'll dance with you at the next party. All right?." I nodded reluctantly and he led me to the nearest couch so that we could sit down. I thanked God that there was no one else in the hallway we were in.

"I know you're not feeling well. It's really no big deal." I said. It was the truth. His face and hands _were _pale and he looked extremely exhausted.

"This flu is taking everything from me. I'd love to dance with you Sam, I really would. But I'm just so wiped out right now that I don't even know if I'll make it to the end of this dinner."

"Don't be sorry." I insisted. "It's really all right. I-"

"David! There you are! I've been looking all over for you!" David's mother had interrupted me. We both looked at her as she rushed over towards us, a perky smile permanently stretched across her face. "Your father wants to make a toast. Can you spare a minute? Sam, you're welcome to come as well."

David looked at me as if asking me if it was all right and I nodded, knowing that I really had no choice. How could I say no to the First Lady? We got ourselves up from the couch and followed his mother back into the main room. I slowly felt David's hand slip off of mine as he walked away from me and more towards his parents in the center of the dance floor. I moved myself towards the edge of the crowd and nestled myself close to two Secret Service Agents.

The room grew quiet as the President lifted his wine glass with a smile. David's mother had positioned herself beside her husband and David had taken his usual space to the left of her. The President and his wife were beaming, their smiles so wide that I thought their faces might cramp up. But David was barely smiling. I noticed that he now looked paler than he had before. A small ounce of worry started to build up in me and I successfully shrugged it off as the President began his speech.

"I'd like to thank everyone for joining us this evening. I hope you're all having a wonderful time." The President and his wife were still smiling proudly as everyone began to applaud and laugh. I tried to keep my eyes focused on David though, because he didn't look right. His face was gray and his eyes kept focusing in and out too quickly as though he was trying to snap out of a daydream. He kind of wobbled to the sides a bit as his father said, "I'd like to dedicate this toast-" but the President was cut off by the crowds gasps as I ran towards David who's eyes had closed completely. His body began to fall limply to the ground.

I hadn't been able to break his fall, but I did kneel next to him and attempted to wake him up. A few of the Secret Service instantly surrounded us and his parents. I had already begun checking his breathing and felt for a pulse. He had one, but his breathing was off. "Did someone call an ambulance?" I said, my voice showing just how much I was shaking and panicking. A female Secret Service Agent came beside me and placed her hands on my shoulders as an attempt to pull me over towards a chair to sit down. By then I was crying hysterically and though I tried to keep my sobbing inside, each one escaped as though beyond my control and echoed through the room. She kneeled down beside me and was trying to soothe me, but I couldn't hear a word that she was saying.

Something had been very wrong all night and I had known it. David had known that something was wrong. I thought back to each time he had left me and tried to piece everything that had happened tonight together in my mind. I couldn't do it though because there were so many thoughts stacking up inside of my head.

Within minutes there were paramedics by his side and all of the guests had been evacuated. I was still sitting about ten feet away, watching everything that was going on. The President and his wife were asked to move away from David as well. David's mother was crying and hugging her husband who seemed to be trying to hold his wife as he fought back his own set of tears. All of the sounds of the room suddenly disappeared and in the silence all that I could do was stare at David as he lay motionless on the floor.


	4. Even If The World Was Crushing On You

DAVID

I woke up to bright lights and loud voices. Everything was foggy. "What's his BP?" someone yelled. I tried to ask where I was but I couldn't. My mouth wouldn't move. I tried to move the rest of my body, but I couldn't move that either. There was beeping and yelling, and I was beginning to get afraid. I didn't know what was going on. I had to be in the hospital. Was I sick? Did this have something to do with the dizzy spells? I felt a prick on my arm and began to panic. My breath started coming in short gasps. "His O2 is falling."

That's when I felt someone familiar grab my hand, and above all of the noise in the room I could make out my mother's voice saying, "Mom's here, David. It's okay." Before I could even think to answer, I fell into a darkness and the exhaustion from being awake for the past few minutes engulfed me.

When I woke up for the second time, my parents were both sleeping on chairs beside my bed. There was an agent against the far wall, and when he saw me wake up, he woke my parents. I had wires and tubes all over me, and I felt as though I'd been hit by a tractor trailer. My head felt heavy and my throat hurt.

"David!" My mom sat beside me on the bed and pushed my hair out of my eyes. "We were so worried about you." My father smiled timidly (something I had never seen him do before) and got up to get the doctor. I knew that this was serious.

"Mom, what happened?" Before she could answer, the doctor walked in, my father following behind him. As the doctor flipped through a chart, my father sat on the bed and grabbed my other hand. I wanted to tell my dad that he was embarrassing me, but I felt too sick to say anything or push my dads hand off of mine.

"You gave us quite a scare." the doctor said once he had flipped through my chart. "My name is Dr. Leal."

"What's going on?" I was starting to get frustrated.

"You were in what is called ketoacidosis. It's commonly known as diabetic ketoacidosis, or DKA."

"Diabetes? I have diabetes?" caught in my throat.

"Type one diabetes is a manageable disease. With proper diet and insulin therapy you can lead a normal life." he assured me.

"Isn't that when your pancreas has stopped making insulin?" I was squeezing my parents hands now, but they didn't let go.

"That's correct. Because of this your body couldn't rid itself of the sugar that was building up. You had to go to the bathroom a lot?"

"Yeah."

"And you were constantly thirsty, maybe even had dizzy spells?"

"Yeah."

"Your body was trying to regulate its sugar levels. Insulin is what breaks down sugar and keeps your levels at normal levels. Now, there are two options for insulin therapy. I've discussed them with your parents. The first option would be the conventional shots. The second would be a pump. The pump delivers insulin through a thin, clear tube that connects to a patch-like set on your abdomen from a plastic pager-looking device." Dr. Leal pulled his white coat up and unclipped what looked like a pager from his pants. A clear tube was attached to it. "This is an insulin pump. There are pre-programmed insulin boluses and basals. Those are two different rates at which the insulin can be delivered. Also, you can eat almost anything when you have the pump, since you can compensate for most of what you are eating. I recommend the pump to all of my patients because it keeps your blood sugars at a more constant level. This helps keep you away from complications such as vision loss, amputations, and other problems like kidney failure. I know that those things sound quite scary, but they can be avoided longer if you keep a tighter control on your sugar levels." As the doctor went on, my mind started spinning. I knew what diabetes was. And it wasn't good.

Anger was the first emotion that I felt. Then I was afraid. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't in front of everyone. I wondered how Sam was doing. She was probably scared out of her mind and worrying about me. The newspaper was probably all over this one. The pressure was too much, and I was suddenly feeling tired again. I rubbed my eyes and asked my parents if I could sleep for a little while. They nodded yes and each of them kissed me and left the room with the doctor. The agent didn't leave, but I was too tired to even bother and ask him to get out. I was asleep before I knew it.


	5. You Shouldn't Let It Hold You Down

SAM

Four Months Later

David being diagnosed as a diabetic took a while to get used to. The fact that he had to wear an insulin pump that was attached to him constantly, check his sugar by pricking his finger, and count carbohydrates was not an exciting thought. I mean, I'd learned to detect when his sugar was too high or too low by his mood, began to accept his bouts of fatigue. And while I still knew that I shouldn't feel sorry for him, I just couldn't help it. Within seconds David could suddenly turn defenseless, something we both learned early on.

This wasn't some cold that goes away within a week. This was a life changing, chronic disease that David would have forever. At first I wasn't exactly sure as to how David was going to handle the news, but I knew that he wasn't going to be happy. Who would? But what really bothered me was this: would David be the same person after all of this? I knew the answer was that he wasn't going to be. He had had a lot to learn, and quick. _I_ had had a lot to learn. And here the First Family's life had just been flipped upside down and here I was worrying about how I was going to handle it. This had become very frustrating, very quickly.

I had known that something was wrong and I'd chosen to ignore it. He'd been sick for at least two weeks and I made myself believe he had the flu. I remembered a week back, when I had been waiting to hear from David for almost five hours after school, and how the worry that had been building up inside of me quickly fell away once I saw David's screenname appear on my buddylist. A double click from the mouse and his AIM box was on my screen. I had typed a quick "hey" and pressed enter on my keyboard.

loveangelmusicbaby: hey  
inthroughtheoutdoor: hey sam  
loveangelmusicbaby: i called you before but you didn't pick up your phone  
inthroughtheoutdoor: yeah, i kind of fell asleep..lol  
loveangelmusicbaby: you feel asleep?  
inthroughtheoutdoor: yeah, idk why but i've been really exhausted lately. i think i'm getting the flu :-\  
loveangelmusicbaby: aww  
inthroughtheoutdoor: anyways, i came on to tell you that i'm not going to make it to susan boone's tonight  
loveangelmusicbaby: but david! you have to go! i can't go through advanced life drawing by myself!  
inthroughtheoutdoor: i'll make it up to you, i promise. i feel really sick tonight  
inthroughtheoutdoor: how about this: i'll have you over for dinner and have one of the infamous burgers from the white house kitchen made just for you  
loveangelmusicbaby: ohh sounds like a deal :)  
inthroughtheoutdoor: i knew you'd agree to that lol  
loveangelmusicbaby: hey!  
inthroughtheoutdoor: all right, i'm going to go. i'll call you tomorrow morning. i love you sam, goodnight  
loveangelmusicbaby: feel better david. i love you too 3  
inthroughtheoutdoor: oh, wait! about the dinner on saturday night, i'll pick you up at 5  
loveangelmusicbaby: lol goodnight david

After our conversation we both signed off of AIM. I had grabbed my art supplies (and my Orestes Plays book that I had to read for english class) and went downstairs to remind my mom that I had to get to Susan Boone's on time. I was hoping to read what I could while I was in the car, but I really didn't feel like picking it up. I figured that I'd read it on the way to school the next morning.

In the middle of Susan Boone's art class my cell phone started to vibrate. I took advantage of the fact that I was behind an easel and opened my phone. A little envelope icon appeared on my screen and I accessed the text message. It was from David. He'd sent me a text that said he loved me and that he wished he was with me at class. I had smiled and put my phone away, thankful for the fact that I had someone like David in my life who, even when he was sick with the flu, was thinking of me.

* * *

The first time that I had met Julie was when I was visiting David in the hospital for the second time. It took me ten minutes to find David's room, and I knew that I only had about ten minutes left after that to be with him.

I hate to admit it, but the second that I had walked into the room and saw her, I was jealous. She was tall and slender, as well as blonde haired. She was definitely pretty. The pang of jealously that I thought I'd never feel when it came to other girls hanging out with David went through me as I slowed my walk towards David.

To say that I was confused was an understatement. What exactly was going on here? Where did this Julie come? And why was I suddenly so jealous?

"Sam!" David got up out of his bed and came to hug me. "I missed you." he said in a lower, more sincere tone. I smiled at the thought the he was all right and he led me towards a chair near his bed and Julie, who was also in a chair of her own. "Sam, this is Julie Leighton. Julie, this is Sam Madison." The girl got up and smiled at me, her teeth a perfect array of pearly, straight, whiteness. I forced a smiled back when she held her hand out and I grasped it and shook it.

"So you're the Sam Madison that saved the President's life?" Her voice showed that she wasn't as ditsy as I had originally thought her to be.

"That would be me." I said with as much enthusiasm as I could to match Julie's as we all took our seats. "So, um. How are things going?" I was nervous to talk to David about his diabetes. We'd had sex, and here I was blushing at the thought of asking him such simple questions.

"Things are going great. My doctor sent Julie, who also had diabetes, in to talk to me. And I can go home in tomorrow if my sugar levels stay level. I really can't wait to get home."

"You have diabetes too?"

"I've had it since I was two." I suddenly felt uncomfortable in the room with them. Relief came over me when my phone started to vibrate in my pocket. I knew I wasn't supposed to have my phone, but I picked it up and answered it. My mom told me that it was time to go, and I said goodbye to Julie, and hugged David, reminding him that I'd call later. I flew out of the place as though there it was on fire.


	6. Let It Hold You Back

DAVID

Fragile.

That's how I feel every second of my day. That at any given moment my body can be thrown into chaos and that I won't be able to help myself. That others around me will keep treating me like I'm some breakable glass doll. Every cough or sniffle sends my parents into a tailspin and is looked at as though it's life threatening. They don't know that I know that I'm under constant surveillance by the secret service. God, if I thought that I didn't have privacy before this whole diabetes thing, then I must have been out of my mind! Now I don't turn a corner or do my homework in my room without someone following me or standing down the hallway, watching my every move.

It almost makes me want to leave for college the day I get an acceptance letter.

I've applied to Princeton, the University of Pennsylvania, and Boston University so far. When I was first looking into colleges, I was looking for art schools. But now I'm looking at medical programs and biomedical sciences. That's how much my life has been changed.

I can see how I've changed in these past five months. The first indication that I'd changed was the week after I was diagnosed, when Sam came in with a CD and told me to listen to it. I hadn't been in the best of spirits that week, but I pretended to smile and be cheery while she came to visit. She knew that I was pretending. We didn't talk much, which happened for at least three weeks after everything had happened. It was weird. At first she seemed too afraid to touch me or say the wrong thing. It didn't matter how many times I'd told her I was still the same old David.

It was right after she'd met Julie when she suddenly started seeing me almost every day. That's when Sam really started acting funny. I didn't ask her about it because of the circumstances, but I thought she might be jealous of Julie. I knew that she was afraid and confused and had questions, but I didn't want to push her to come to terms with something I hadn't even accepted myself. At that point the only person that understood completely what I was going through physically and mentally was Julie. It was so easy to talk to her, though it made me miss talking to Sam.

Anyway, when I looked on the CD cover, I realized that she'd written a paragraph or so for each song and why she'd chosen to put it on the CD. The first song that came up on my laptop was 'The Remedy' by Jason Mraz. I read the paragraph before I listened.

Jason Mraz wrote this for a friend who'd been diagnosed with cancer. His friend had such a positive outlook on life while he was sick that Jason felt inspired to write about how his life had been changed as well. I thought this song might make you feel a little better about things. I know that cancer isn't the same as diabetes, but I figured that it changes you in a lot of the same ways. I also thought that it was funny that it mentioned freedom and everything..being that your dad is the president..yeah, maybe it isn't as funny as I thought.

The second song was 'Change Your Mind' by the All-American-Rejects. I started laughing at the thought that each song had some kind of "American" theme to it. It was so Sam of her to do that. I went through the rest of the CD, passing by some Reel Big Fish and finally reached a song by Andrew McMahon from Something Corporate and Jack's Mannequin. Her paragraph said something about how the singer had had leukemia and was in remission or something, but I was beginning to get annoyed. Every song was about people who were sick! I was all ready surrounded by sick people, and hated the reminder that I was as well. I took the CD out of my computer and shoved it back into its case. I wished that I wasn't feeling so down. I kept getting caught in the self pity trap and I wasn't sure how to get out of it. How long was this going to last? The anger started to build up again.

That's when I grabbed a random CD and put it on, plugged in my headphones, and made myself as comfortable as possible against my pillows.

Relient K 's 'High Of 75' came on, though I'd never heard it before, and I just couldn't will myself to pause it once it got going.

We were talking together  
I said, "What's up with this weather?"  
_Don't know whether or not  
**How sad I just got  
Was on my own volition  
Or if I'm just missing the sun**_

_And tomorrow I know  
Will be rainy at best  
And the forecast I know  
Is that I'll be depressed  
**But I'll wait outside  
Hoping that I'll catch sight of the sun**_

Because on and off  
The clouds have fought  
For control over the sky  
And lately the weather has been so bi-polar  
And consequently so have I

But now I'm  
Sunny with a high of 75  
Since you took my heavy heart and made it light  
And it's funny how you find you enjoy your life  
When you're happy to be alive

_And the temperature is freezing  
And then after dark  
There's a cold front  
Sweeping in over my heart  
**And we might break up  
If I don't wake up to the sun**_

Because on and off  
The clouds have fought  
For control over the sky  
_And lately the weather has been so bi-polar  
And consequently so have I_

_But now I'm  
Sunny with a high of 75  
Since you took my heavy heart and made it light  
**And it's funny how you find you enjoy your life  
When you're happy to be alive**_

I paused the song when it was done and sat there for the longest time. For the first time I didn't feel angry. It made me think that Sam was trying to make a point with her CD before. That I should be happy to be alive. That while things were looking pretty horrible, there were even worse things. That maybe I should enjoy what I've got and try not to waste it. I'd been pretty depressed, but just then I was feeling a little bit better. I knew that if I didn't try and accept what was happening then it would affect my relationship with Sam. Our relationship was already being affected.

It took me two hours to pick up the telephone to call Sam, but I did it. I wasn't exactly sure why it was so hard to make the call. Maybe I was afraid of admitting that I was scared and angry and letting Sam know everything. Whatever the reason really was, I'm glad I made that phone call. It might just be the only reason why Sam and I didn't break up.


	7. You'll Show Them

SAM

I got a phone call the at about one o'clock in the morning the day after I gave David the CD I had made him.

"Everyone keeps telling me how fragile I am. Everyone but you." was the first thing that David said to me. No, "Hello" or "Hey Sam".

"David?" I yawned.

"Everything's just changing so fast and I can't even comprehend half of what is going on. It's like if I take one step away from it all to just look at it and figure out how to do everything then I'm afraid that I'll be even more behind. I can't take this stress." he whispered.

"I'm stressed too David. It's senior year." I tried.

"No, Sam. It's not just the stress from being a senior. It's everything else too."

"If you want to talk about it, we can. I'm here for you David."

"I think I need to do this on my own. I-"

"You mean like, take a break?" My voice cracked.

"No, Sam. It's like this: I'm changing, as a person. I'm the same old David that I was a few months ago. Diabetes doesn't just come into your life and sit there and let you be the same person you've always been. Somehow it changes you. It's just that I'm so afraid that one day I'll start having complications, or that have an insulin reaction. It's not normal to sit and wonder if I should go and check the level of my sugar. During the day I am constantly reminded of who I am now."

"I know you're afraid David." I took a moment and then said, "I don't think you've accepted your disease."

"Don't even talk to me about accepting my disease. You don't have to do anything to keep yourself in check all day. You don't know what it's like to feel crappy and you definitely don't know what it is like emotionally to deal with it." he said, the anger in his voice rising with every sentence.

"What am I supposed to do? Just stand here and wait until you do accept it? I've accepted the fact that you're sick David, and I still love you. I am here for you! You haven't accepted it and because of that you don't love who you are anymore. But you _are_ the same David that you were before all of this. You just refuse to believe it." My anger started to match his.

"I'm not the same David anymore."

"Yes, you are! Yeah, you've been changed in ways that I haven't. But you're still David. I know that this hasn't been easy for anyone. I know that I can't understand everything that you're going through David. You know that if I could, I would. But all that I can do now is just be here for you. To listen, to talk."

"You have been there Sam, and I'm really thankful for that."

"I'm aware that this isn't easy stuff to go through. I don't think I'd be able to handle it all if it happened to me. But in the meantime, things _are_ changing and lately these changes have been pretty drastic. On top of that there are emotions running wild and I think we need to work through them on our own and be considerate of each other."

"I'm not even sure of who I am anymore. I feel like I'm becoming someone else. I'm changing and I'm not sure where I'm going." he paused. "I'm scared." And then he started crying softly. I heard him sniffle a little bit, and I imagined him in his bed, his legs curled up to his chest, his tear filled eyes looking out his bedroom window.

"David, it's okay. Everything is going to be okay." I assured him softly.

"How do you know that Sam? How can you be so sure?" He sounded like scared child. I wanted to go over to his house and lay there with him, but knew that Secret Service would catch me.

"Because you're my best friend, and I know that you can do this. I know that you can get past this."

"I'm so scared that I'm going to die." I heard him sniffle a sob back. "I could die Sam. And I don't know what to do."

"People with diabetes live normal lives every day. Some never even have complications."

"My life isn't normal." he sobbed, and then paused. "My life was never normal Sam." I could hear the tear flow increasing in the background.

"You can still do anything that you want with your life." I said softly. "It's a manageable disease." There was a few moments of silence on the phone, but I knew that David was still on the line because I could hear him sniffling.

"Sam, can I ask you something?"

"You know that you can ask me anything."

"Would you do something with me?"

"As long as it's legal." I joked quietly.

"Would you go with me to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Fund convention in California?"

"Of course. But why would you want me to go?" I asked, puzzled.

"I want you to give a speech."

"You want me to give a speech? Isn't your dad giving one?"

"Yeah he is. But I wanted you to give one too."

"Why?"

"Because you don't have diabetes, and yet you know exactly what it's like because you have a best friend that does." he said quietly.


	8. There's A Fire In Your Eyes

SAM

"David!" I laughed. "Stop tickling me!" I could hear the rain outside pounding away at my window. It was just David and me in my house alone, spending a Friday night in May together on my living room floor.

"All right, all right." he said, smiling at me as I sat in his lap, my head turned towards him.

"I want to watch the show David." I smiled and relaxed back into David's lap. "Stop poking me!" I snapped after I felt something jab me in the back near my kidney.

"I'm not poking you!"

"Yes you are."

"Where am I poking you?!"

"In my back. You're doing it again!"

"Sam, I think it's my pump that's poking you. I can unclip it if you want."

"You're not supposed to take it off."

"I meant off of my jeans." he laughed. "We just have to hope we don't move on to anything more than tickling, or we might get caught in the cord." A smirk appeared across his face as he unclipped his pump from his jeans. I moved off of him as he placed in on the carpet between us.

"So that's why you invited me over.." I said sarcastically.

"Actually. It's not." Suddenly his voice sounded serious. "I wanted to ask you something. Actually, to do something with me. It'd mean a lot to me if you did."

"David, we already-"

"I don't mean that Sam. I'm talking about the JDRF Convention. I'm supposed to speak at it, and so is my father."

"Is Julie going?" slipped out before I could stop it.

"No. She's not going." David didn't seem upset that I'd asked . "I didn't ask her to go. I didn't think she'd have an experience of a lifetime."

"Of course she'd have a good time. She knows all about diabetes!"

"That's why I want you to go. I want you to understand. Not that you don't all ready, but I think you know what I mean. I think you're afraid of my diabetes."

"David, that's not true." I shifted myself closer to him, being mindful of his pump on the carpet and nudging it towards him.

"Will you go with me?"

"Of course I will, I already promised I'd go with you two months ago. I can't back out now. Is there anything that I have to say? Do I have to make a speech?"

"No, you don't have to write a speech. But I do want to ask you to do something else. For an article in a magazine."

"You want me to write something?"

"No. The magazine wants you to try a pump for a day." he said slowly.

"Me? Wear a pump? An insulin pump? But I'm-"

"Not a diabetic, I know. You'd have saline being delivered, not insulin. It's perfectly safe. Parents of diabetic children try them at conventions all of the time, and when someone starts a pump they usually try saline first."

"Does that mean that I have to stick myself? With that thing? To put the pad thing that you connect the cord to."

"Yeah, but there's a cream that is used to numb the skin. It doesn't hurt. You don't have to do it Sam. I'd understand if you didn't."

"What if I wanted to?"

"You'd actually want to?"

"I want to see what you go though." I paused. "I will admit, I am a little bit afraid of this whole diabetes thing. But underneath it all I want to understand it."

"You don't have to do the pump thing for the magazine, or even for me."

"I'd try the pump for myself."

"Seriously? You don't have to decide now. You can decide when we get there."

"I want to try it, end of story." I said and pulled his head in so that I could kiss him. Before I did I said, "We're leaving for college in less than four months, and I can't help but think that you and I aren't going to make it." A tear escaped my left eye and I continued. "I don't want you to think that me trying this is some kind of plan to keep you forever. It's not. Just think of it as a friend trying to understand and be there."

"Sam, you already have been there. I know you always will be. This isn't the beginning anymore though. I haven't just been diagnosed. It's been some time now, and I can do this on my own. You going to this would have nothing to do with helping me get over the fact that I have diabetes. I've accepted it. This is just about two friends enjoying each other's company and learning about the new information together. You really don't have to go."

"I'm so going." I smile as more tears come down my face. "And you can't stop me." I basically fell on top of him right then and there and we started to kiss.


End file.
